Was it like this in the war?

Summer has arrived in the UK. We're basking in temperatures in the mid to high twenties which is about as good as it gets in the UK. Fortunately that's about as much as I want. Any more and I start to wilt.
 
There are a few signs of summer that regularly appear. I get a recurring visit of ladybirds in my spare room. Cute, I hear you squeal. Not so. In some years there are dozens every day. They congregate in the corners of windows and leave a sticky residue. Then they die and I find the little dried out husks of their bodies all over the floor. Some days I just go in there and vacuum them up - dead or alive. It's a known problem.

Another sign of summer is the distinctive thrum of vintage heavy bomber aircraft cruising overhead. I've already had one flypast this year.  I seem to live on their flightpath taking them to and from  wherever they are based somewhere north of London.

It now seems every year there will be a couple of events in Central London that require some sort of commemorative display of aircraft. They used to bring them out every time the old queen mother lived to see another birthday - remind the old girl of the war and the good old days.

This year I'm expecting a few - the Queen's Diamond Jubilee I'm sure will bring them out as I hope will the Olympics...



The Red Arrows will certainly make an appearance...





And being a nostalgic sort of country we'll probably have Spitfires (watch this!)....






or Lancasters ( I just love the sound they make)....




and if we're very lucky, maybe a Vulcan....





I love it.

Sweatshirt Sunday

Children....beware of strange men in yellow hoddies offering assistance/sweets/directions/film advice.

Rather overdue pictures of me in my Sundance hoodie...taking pictures of yourself is not much fun.

 

 

 

I hate picture of myself. Don't let anyone tell you it's cathartic. It's not. It's traumatic.

Buttocks Humanoid

Somebody- well actually probably several people - have spent years on this. This is going to be  their path to fame and fortune.

I think it is time well spent. You can tell this man really loves his work by the way he caresses his creation.

Inside Looking Out, Not Outside Looking In

So, I spent the weekend as a volunteer at the first ever Sundance LondonFilm and Music Festival. The Sundance Institute decided to take some of the films (14 out of 120) that were originally shown at the main Sundance Festival in the US in January and run a four day festival in London.

I'd heard of Sundance many years ago but had never considered or really even known of the opportunity to volunteer for something like this. Just by chance, a blog I follow mentioned Sundance were in London and looking for volunteers and having enjoyed my Olympic experience so far I thought I'd give it a go. It would be wrong of me to suggest I'm a natural volunteer (but I'm rather catching the bug) - I'm just interested in being a part of something like this and I often find the view of things from the inside looking out rather more interesting than the view from the outside looking in. I enjoy films and documentaries and am pretty bored with Hollywood blockbusters - being involved in a film festival which champions independent and less commercial films and documentaries is right up my street.

The selection process was straightforward - I applied online a few months ago and soon enough, I was being interviewed over the 'phone by Patrick from Sundance who told me I'd be a good candidate for the “The Theatre Team”. My Olympic experience seemed to help here as Patrick had also volunteered for the Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City, Utah in 2002 - we bonded on this. I met Patrick at the festival - lovely chap.

It started on Wednesday evening with training at the venue - the O2 in South East London. Our roles were explained, we were shown around the venue and met the people who'd be managing us for the next four days. We were also given our uniform - a bright yellow hoodie which we were all very proud of - several customers were desperate to acquire one - they're pretty exclusive. Watch this space - in true Gimcrack tradition I will model it on for you on Sweatshirt Saturday.

For the next four days (4pm to 11pm), and as part of the theatre team our immediate responsibilities were handling the queues, checking tickets at the door and looking after the audience during the film. You can probably guess that any normal cinema already has the staff to do this sort of thing and the Cineworld multiplex at the O2 is no exception. As Sundance volunteers though, we're also trying to create an atmosphere - helping to make patrons feel they're part of a festival rather than just going to see a film. This involves being available to answer questions, chatting to customers about other festival events, helping out wherever we can and just generally trying to create a buzz.

The O2 is a massive entertainment complex, not just a multi-screen cinema so Sundance volunteers were scattered across the whole venue. This was also a music festival so there were several other locations being used apart from the six cinema screens.

Each film shown had a brief introduction from Sundance and at the end there was a Q & A session with people involved in making or starring in the film. We also did the running around with microphones so the audience could ask questions to the panel onstage. Our duties sound pretty simple and they are but when you’re doing something for the first time it’s still a novelty and you’re keen to do it well. And I’m a big believer in the statement that no job is so simple that it cannot be done badly. It was fun and my fellow volunteers were a great crowd of people. We were all into the Sundance idea and all working together to make sure people had a good time. And, of course, there are perks to being a volunteer.

Each day of the four day festival we were entitled to a ticket to any film we wanted to see outside our work shift. In addition, if you were on duty inside the cinema you got to see the film anyway.  We also got the hoodie and a few other goodies. Regrettably, no chance to take photos - as volunteers we were understandably expected to concentrate on our work.

The festival had a great atmosphere. There were quite a few volunteers from the US who had come over at their own expense just for the fun of working at the London festival. The customers were great as they also seemed to understand the whole Sundance festival vibe.

My particular high spot? Being there for the introduction to Harmony which was presented in person by Robert Redford and Prince Charles. I wasn’t expecting that when I volunteered all those months ago. We all love Mr. Redford. 

I saw six films over the four days all of which I’d recommend. I would have loved to have seen all fourteen of them - it just wasn't possible. A special mention goes to the two music documentaries I saw - Under African Skies and SHUT UP AND PLAY THE HITS which were both excellent. Under African Skies was such a moving piece of work it almost (*whispers* it did) brought me to tears. 

Working at Sundance and the time I've spent on the Olympics so far has given me the bug to do more things like this. It's a lot of fun and I'd encourage you to try as well.

Here are the films I saw.

Sundance

Thanks to a tip off a while ago from Charlotte's Web I'm spending the next four days as a volunteer at the Sundance London Film and Music Festival. I just completed my training yesterday evening and really looking forward to it.

The Sundance Institute is a nonprofit organisation founded by Robert Redford - read about it here. This is their first film festival in London and it's being held at The O2 - this is the old Millenium Dome which was a ridiculously overblown white elephant (it cost 789 million pounds) the government built to celebrate 2000. Thankfully, commercial interests have since taken over and it's now being put to good use.


Go Sundance!

Death as Entertainment

The last few weeks have seen a blizzard of TV coverage over the impending 100th anniversary of the sinking of Titanic. It was of course a tragic event but there have been many worse maritime disasters which will not receive similar levels of coverage, nor will they attract the mawkish sentimentality that people seem so desperate to attach to Titanic.

The Balmoral cruise ship recently left Southampton to retrace the path that Titanic took and will be in exactly the same position in the Atlantic where Titanic sank precisely 100 years later. Some of the passengers were being interviewed as they boarded the ship and were asked what had attracted them to this trip.

One woman interviewed enthusiastically explained she was doing this because the story of Titanic was "just so romantic". Romantic? Just exactly what is romantic about 1,500 people drowning in a freezing ocean in the middle of the night? This woman of course cannot distinguish between the plot of the James Cameron film and the utterly terrifying and distressing reality of what actually happened that night.

Many people on the above "cruise" seemed to think it appropriate to commemorate the death of 1,500 people by dressing up like them - what fun!  Of course, when they reach the spot where it happened, everyone will participate in some sort of grotesque memorial service where they all bow their heads and hold a symbolic minute of silence. Doubtless the Celine Dion song will be played reverentially in the background. Shortly afterwards I suspect there will be a stampede for the bar where they will probably enjoy a selection of cocktails and canapes similar to those that would have been served on Titanic. Surely somebody needs to remind them they are celebrating the death of a lot of people by going on a eight day luxury cruise. That doesn't seem right to me.

Such is the level of myth that has been cultivated around Titanic that there are people out there who believe it is an entirely fictional event. I reckon quite a few of them are on that cruise.

Remembering events such as this is something we should do. It is important to learn from our collective mistakes and try to avoid repeating them. Most of what I've seen in the last few days however  is just people desperately trying to find some sort of association with Titanic so they can either exploit it for profit or make it an excuse to dress like an Edwardian dandy.

Polenta

I enjoy baking as it's fun, it's not as difficult as people make out and your audience/victims mostly seem to appreciate it. I guess like most things, it's as easy or as difficult as you want to make it. To do it well of course takes years of experience and not just the occasional weekend forays that I dabble in. Serious patisserie is obviously a real skill, baking the occasional cake is not.

Anyway here is an incredibly simple and very tasty recipe which a colleague at work gave to me - thanks Margaret. She found it here.

The consistency you should aim for is very moist without being undercooked. It won't rise much - that's fine. I prepared it at the weekend.
 
Lemon Polenta Cake

6oz/175g unsalted butter, softened

8oz/225g caster sugar

7oz/200g ground almonds
3 large eggs
Zest of 4 whole lemons and juice of 1
4oz/115g polenta
1 tsp baking powder
Pinch of salt

Preheat the oven to 325F/160C/gas mark 3. Line an 8” (20cm) tin with baking parchment.
Put all the ingredients in a food processor and whizz to a smooth batter.

Spoon into the lined tin and bake for 45-50 minutes, until a skewer pushed into the centre comes out with no uncooked batter on it. Cool in the tin.


Observations

• Just beat everything together in a large bowl if you don't have a food processor but make sure the batter is smooth (give it some elbow!)
• Reducing your oven temperature by 10% if using a fan oven seems to be the general rule
• It took slightly longer than 45-50 minutes to get a nice golden top and was still moist
• Do observe the skewer guideline and keep cooking 'til you're sure it's ready
• Use polenta flour/meal - not the ready made stuff, and if you have a choice, buy the finest grade you can get. If your polenta is too coarse you notice it in the end result although it's still damn tasty
• Next time I think I will sprinkle lots of flaked almonds on the top (about 50g) before putting it in the oven. I think a nice topping of toasted almonds would work well with this
• I'd also like to play around with quantities next time and try to make it more lemony and slightly less sweet - that's just my personal taste though

Polenta is a funny ingredient - I don't really like it in its savoury form and I've never used it in baking. A lot of my baking involves trying recipes/ingredients that are unfamiliar to me (rum, raisin and prune icecream anyone?) because I'm interested to see how they turn out. Sometimes you kick, sometimes you get kicked (that's a line from an INXS song if you're wondering but is applicable to so many situations that I tend to use it a lot).

I think you could decorate the top with almost anything to give it more eye-appeal or just go with a dusting of icing sugar like the picture.

I should've taken a photo of mine but I ate most of it before I thought of doing that.

(More) Olympian Heroics

This is part two of a rather peripatetic series of posts about Olympian heroics. Part one, you may recall, was about Andarin Carvajal the plucky Cuban postman who prefaced his 1904 marathon with a 600 mile walk to the event and a forty hour (probably involuntary) fast.

The 1908 marathon held in London has an equally interesting narrative. I suspect this event always produces an heroic performance from somebody - usually not the winner and 1908 was no exception.

The race was run from Windsor in Berkshire to the White City stadium in the west of London. The stadium was still there when I first moved to London but it had by then been reduced to hosting greyhound racing. It was demolished a few years later to make way for  additional offices for the BBC.

The marathon distance had historically been agreed at around 26 miles but in a late change for 1908 it was decided that the competitors would also run a circuit of the stadium at the end of the race so the finishing line would be in front of the royal box. The race therefore became 26 miles and 385 yards which is the distance it continues to be run today.

The hero of the 1908 marathon was undoubtedly Dorando Pietri.  I've seen him variously described as a pastry chef and also an ice cream salesman, he came from a modest background in Italy. Five feet two inches (1.59m) tall and slightly built he was already an established and well known long distance runner. 

The race was run in the afternoon of a humid English summer. It was keenly contested in the early stages but by the time it reached the stadium Pietri had what appeared to be an unassailable lead. He was however utterly exhausted. He entered the stadium believing he had won only to be confronted by a gaggle of officials who required him to complete the extra yards that had been added to create the dramatic finish. Delirious and confused he staggered erratically on the track surrounded by a crowd desperately encouraging him to complete the race. 

He continued to stumble and stagger about the track and fell five times. Each time he fell he was nursed and then physically picked up and encouraged onward a few more strides. Of his total time of 2h 54min 46s, ten minutes were needed for that last 385 yards (350 metres). He finally crossed the line and despite the agonising last ten minutes was still in first place. He collapsed and had to be carried from the track on a stretcher - many spectators believed he had died.

Crossing the line in second place was the American athlete Johnny Hayes. The American team lodged a challenge claiming that Pietri had received too much assistance - the challenge was upheld and Pietri was disqualified. 

Watch the following short video (longer ones are available on YouTube) - sorry the commentary is in Italian - it's heartbreaking.

The Sleepers Sleep

The UK is an island (if you haven't noticed). Wherever you are, you're never more than about 70 miles from the sea. Most people are considerably closer. For all that, the sea plays a pretty insignificant part in the lives of most of our primarily urban population. This hasn't stopped a small number of people becoming secretly addicted to a rather unusual radio broadcast called The Shipping Forecast.

Transmitted four times daily on a national radio station it is a very technical bulletin which lists all the main shipping areas around the UK and the weather conditions that can be expected for the next twenty four hours in those areas. These areas have wonderfuly arcane but rather poetic names such as Fisher, Dogger, German Bight, Lundy, Fastnet, Rockall, Viking. It's not like a TV weather forecast which these days seems mostly  to contain advice about what type of clothes the presenter thinks you should wear tomorrow.  It's a technical forecast aimed exclusively for those at sea or those about to go to sea. It has no value to landlubbers, most of whom do not even understand it.

People however have become addicted to the poetry of the  Shipping Forecast. The way in which it is read by the radio presenter and the images it conjures up in the imagination somehow draws people in - a typical bulletin will go something like this...

"Low South West Iceland nine nine eight moving steadily away north east losing its identity. New low expected west south east Iceland nine eight five by one eight double oh Tuesday. Low one hundred and fifty miles west of Sole nine nine eight expected south west Iberia one thousand and four by same time....Viking, North Utsire, South Utsire, south or south west four increasing six or seven...Forties, Cromarty, Forth, southerly veering south westerly four or five increasing five to seven, fair, moderate or good. Tyne, Dogger, southerly four or five...."

And so it goes on for several minutes. Many people find it reassuring to listen to, others say the midnight broadcast helps them go to sleep at night. Books have been written about it. People have tried putting music to it. My favourite shipping area which sadly no longer exists is the rather prosaically titled Channel Light Vessel Automatic.

Here's a typical example of The Shipping Forecast - jump to two minutes to hear the broadcast....



I was listening to the Shipping Forecast in the car this evening and shortly afterwards I switched stations and a London traffic bulletin came on. It occurred to me these also have their own peculiar qualities. London traffic reports are full of equally unusual names. Names familiar to tourists rarely feature. You listen closely for an area you might know and the traffic you might be about to meet but most of the areas are actually unknown to you. Here are a few London traffic blackspots that everyone hears about almost every day yet few Londoners (except possibly taxi drivers) actually know where most of them are...

• Canning Town flyover
• Rochester Way Relief Road
• Stirling Corner
• Beckton Alps
• Blackwall Tunnel
• Polish War Memorial
• Charlie Brown's 
• The Limehouse Link
• The Sun in the Sands

This got me thinking about a song I've known since I was a child. It's called The Slow Train and it's about the many minor railway stations that no longer exist. As the song suggests, they were only ever visited by The Slow Train. Again, evocative sounding names of places most of us have never heard of but with a poetry and music all of their own.
 

Freediving

This writer knows how to grab a reader - put a life or death situation in the first three paragraphs. Read about the incredible and frankly, terrifying sport of freediving. It's long but it's worth it...in my opinion.

Read the article here...

 

British Ingenuity

Just think, the same fuddle-minded country that produced this would have a Concorde in the air only eight years later.

Making Your Point

A significant part of my day is spent online advising customers how to fix problems on their systems. I always try to be as courteous and as tactful as possible as I am often correcting their misunderstandings or mistakes. I would not wish to be blunt, that would be impolite - and certainly not to a customer who's paying a fat fee for my services.

Many of the people I deal with are not native English speakers so I try to keep my sentences as short, clear and unambiguous as possible. I avoid things like complex grammar constructs, unusual vocabulary or slang. Having said that I do employ phrases such as "I would suggest..." which, to me, means "Do  it" and "I have a few comments...." which means "You've pretty much missed the point..."  Similarly, I would never say to someone "You're wrong". Instead I will employ a phrase such as "You may need to reconsider your strategy". I've always thought I was being tactful and they would understand the message I was really seeking to convey.

I've often been somewhat surprised (that means "totally dumbfounded" by the way) by their reaction to my well intended suggestions.  Depressingly, I suspect it's me that's been wrong all along. 

The following link is terribly accurate regarding what British people say and what they actually mean. I really need to learn how to be politely blunt.

Snow in London

So, London had its first significant snowfall of the winter - some years we get no snow at all. In the last few years we've been lucky and had plenty of snow. It was very kind of it to fall on Saturday night. It's wonderful to wake up on a Sunday morning, see everything blanketed in white and know you don't have to be anywhere in particular and you can just go out at your leisure when it pleases you and enjoy the scenery - which is exactly what I did and here are the photos.

Running parallel to the road I live on is an area called The Parkland Walk. It is actually a disused railway line. There were plans to develop it but the Second World War put a stop to that and they never get around to it.

In a previous post I mentioned Stephen King's connection to the area. In one of the pictures you'll see an unusual sculpture built into one of the bridge arches and it is said that this sculpture inspired him to write his short story Crouch End, giving the area a thoroughly devilish and demonic past.
.

Plagiarism

One of my favourite films of all time - and I mean ALL time - is called Brazil. It's by Terry Gilliam. It's a simple story of one man's descent into madness in a dystopian future world. It also has Robert de Niro playing the part of a guerilla heating engineer flying through the night skies secretly fixing people's heating and ventilation systems. He meets a papery end. If that doesn't grab you then what will?

Without going in to too much detail, there's a lot more to this film than that and you must see it. It has a particularly catchy melody which is strung throughout the film - whenever I hear the tune it always catches my attention. It's been covered by many different people in many different styles - the tune is actually called Aquarela do Brasil (Watercolour of Brazil) and was written by Ary Barroso in 1939.

I was reading with the TV on in the background this evening and the tune came on. I looked up and it was a commercial for Cadbury's chocolate. The music was what caught my attention. What surprised me is that they've have shamefully and utterly plagiarised the film.

In the film the main character travels around in what we in the UK call a bubble car - one of those strange little single-seater cars that only go at about 30 mph and are powered by a very noisy and inefficient motorcycle engine. These feature throughout the commercial.

The commercial also features people acting furtively, popping up unexpectedly out of walls and pavements - also something of a theme throughout the film.

Finally, people flying. In the film, dream sequences involving flying are where the main character goes to escape the hell in his real life (or is it?) You decide.

Whatever....I hope Cadbury's are rewarding Terry Gilliam generously for taking his ideas and using them to sell chocolate bars. He famously needs all the help he can get. He has had more production disasters in his films than anyone I know. If Cadbury's are not crediting him then shame on you - and I expect the litigation to start soon.

4/2/2012 - I should've included a link to the ad so you could decide for yourselves - yer tis...

Things to do at the Top of a Mountain

Some of my favourite books are about exploration. If I were to name three particular favourites they would be (in no particular order)...

• The Dig Tree by Sarah Murgatroyd - the hapless first attempt to cross the Australian continent 
• Barrow's Boys by Fergus Fleming - under utilised British naval officers being sent to discover hitherto unmapped parts of the globe
• The Fatal Shore by Robert Hughes - more colonisation than exploration but a magnificent and definitive book about the early settlement of Australia

One of the duties of early explorers, as they mapped out the territories they discovered was to come up with names for prominent landmarks, mountains, islands, rivers etc. This was an essential part of early exploration. Initially they would start their journey by naming places after famous people or perhaps the sponsors of the expedition.

Boothia Felix (now the Boothia Peninsula), an enormous barren wasteland in the Canadian Arctic was named after Felix Booth, a wealthy industrialist who made his money from distilling gin and was a patron of the expedition that discovered it.

Mount Everest was named after a prominent surveyor of India. It is generally thought that George Everest never actually saw the mountain that was named after him. Nowadays we don't even pronounce it correctly. He was insistent the first syllable of his name was pronounced Eve (as in Adam and Eve).

When explorers ran out of names of famous people they would start naming things after themselves or members of their family. The Ross Ice Shelf in Antarctica is named after Sir James Clark Ross who discovered it. Yes, he named it after himself.

On long expeditions and with many new discoveries, explorers often ran out of names of people to use or simply became bored and they just named things after the first thing that came into their mind. This is the reason why in Australia you have a mountain range called The Snowy Mountains and deserts called the Great Sandy Desert and the Little Sandy Desert. In the US you have the Clearwater river and the Snake river. All these names show that whilst early explorers may have been hardy and intrepid, they probably didn't have a good thesaurus to hand.

When things got really desperate they would name places after events that had occured at those places. This explains places like Cape Tribulation where Captain James Cook ran his ship onto a reef and briefly believed his expedition would end. 

Going away from the exploration theme, on a more local level, places that are simply associated with a particular person or feature of the area would be named appropriately. Drill down onto any Google map and you will find any number of places called Ray's Creek, Ned's Point, Pleasant Valley or something similar.

Individual streets in cities would be named after the trade or activity most commonly practiced in that area. Gropec*nt Lane was a frequently used name to describe the part of a town or city where prostitution was common.

Today I was watching one of those TV shows about the emergency services. This particular programme was centred around a hospital in Melbourne. One incident involved a teenager who had been injured whilst out walking in the local mountains. The area was inaccessible to vehicles and the rescue helicopter had to be used. I did a double take the first time they mentioned the place where she had to be rescued from. They mentioned the place several times again as the dramatic helicopter rescue took place.

What was the name of the place where this girl had befallen her unfortunate accident?

Mount Buggery. What on earth do you think happened there to provoke it to be so named?

If you think that's amusing, look at the photo caption on the Wikipedia page and see what the adjacent mountain is called.

Hang On To Your Hope

It seems fashionable to think the world is going to hell and there's not a damn thing we can do about it. I don't share that opinion although I do tend to look at the news now and again and wonder what the hell is going on.

Even if you consider yourself reasonably optimistic, I sometimes wonder whether the idea that it's all a bit pointless gets into you and has a consequent effect on your behaviour. I know within me there's a hardened lump of cynicism/pessimism but I try to fight it off  and, in my mind anyway, I think the optimistic side usually wins.

What I am increasingly guilty of is not getting anything significant done. Sure, I can deal with the day to day stuff or the stuff that simply has to be done but there's nothing long term in my plans. I'll put something off because I won't see the benefit of it for a few weeks/months/years and then, what do you know, that time has passed and I wish I'd done that thing because I know now I'd be reaping whatever reward I was due for my farsightedness.

Am I like this because deep down inside I'm troubled by the thought that it's all a bit pointless or is it just apathy and laziness? I suspect there's a fair amount of the latter and also regrettably, sometimes a little of the former.

I think some of it also has to do with comfort and security (and/or possibly insecurity). When you're young and hungry you go out and grab things - you've got nothing to lose. You have to do this because opportunities don't tend to come offering themselves to you. As you get older and more secure you don't need to go out and fight so much. You've bagged the big stuff - a home, a partner, kids, a steady job, financial security and whatever else floats your boat. You then consolidate. You hunker down.

If you haven't got one of those things (and I have a few gaps in that particular list) you tend to be more philosophical about it and it stops becoming something you hope will one day define you and the reverse happens. You end up being defined by its absence rather than its presence.

Just stumbling across the following letter was what triggered the above thoughts. It's from the writer E. B. White and his response to a correspondent asking for his thoughts on the future of humankind - that's a big subject to ask anyone but it's a simple (always the best), thoughtful and considered response.

What it says to me is if you do think the world is going to hell, then find a modest task that you know has something more than just an immediate objective and remind yourself whenever you do it that by doing this small thing, you're planning for the future. In this case, winding up a clock that will then run for  a week is a "....contribution to order and steadfastness".


As long as there is one upright man, as long as there is one compassionate woman, the contagion may spread and the scene is not desolate. Hope is the thing that is left to us, in a bad time. I shall get up Sunday morning and wind the clock, as a contribution to order and steadfastness.
 
Sailors have an expression about the weather: they say, the weather is a great bluffer. I guess the same is true of our human society—things can look dark, then a break shows in the clouds, and all is changed, sometimes rather suddenly. It is quite obvious that the human race has made a queer mess of life on this planet. But as a people we probably harbor seeds of goodness that have lain for a long time waiting to sprout when the conditions are right. Man's curiosity, his relentlessness, his inventiveness, his ingenuity have led him into deep trouble. We can only hope that these same traits will enable him to claw his way out.

Hang on to your hat. Hang on to your hope. And wind the clock, for tomorrow is another day.

Sincerely,

(Signed, 'E. B. White')

The above is courtesy of the always interesting Letters of Note.

2011 - So Long, and Thanks for all the Fish

So it has come to that time of the year when we all try to simultaneously look forward and backwards - something that normally only owls and those reptiles with swivelly eyes can do.

I won't say it's been a good or bad year because barring complete disasters, all years have their highs and lows. Through nothing more than a fluke of nature I am fortunate enough to be living in a peaceful part of the world where life is good and disaster rarely, if ever, strikes. We are lucky enough to have little to worry about except what we can brew up in our strangely doom-laden imaginations. The solipsism of many affluent, healthy and comfortable  Westerners continues to bemuse me. Take a look at the rest of the world sometime and stop feeling so bloody sorry for yourself.

I've had one experience in 2011 I hope I never to have to repeat.  The slow, painful decline and death through illness of a close friend provoked emotions in me I had never experienced before. I have never wept at someone's bedside. I think I had come to terms with the inevitability of his death but I simply could not cope with watching someone I had known for so long in such desperate and hopeless circumstances. Knowing I could do nothing to help him was unbearable. He was the model of courage in adversity. I was hopeless.

On a lighter (and suddenly rather tactless) note, men like compiling 'top 20' lists and I am no exception. Here is my entirely arbitrary selection of top things from 2011 which I will think up as I go along.... 


Best Blog
A dead heat between nursemyra at The Gimcrack Hospital, Terra Shield at Raconteur-esque Scribblings and Saby at Booby Rants!. I fear we may have almost lost Saby to the Twittersphere (which I rarely visit) but her intermittent posts combining simmering rage and sparkling wit are always a pleasure to see.

An honourable mention goes to Gia at Mayor Gia who has the rare skill of being able to write brilliantly funny dialogue and combine it with great illustrations. Let's hope the zombie sluts don't get to her too soon.

Best TV Show
The Killing. With a little practice I may soon be able to swear fluently in Danish. Interesting to discover that the Danish for "f*cked up" is "furkerdairurrppp". Who'd have thought it. 

Best Dessert
Galette des Rois. I made this for my family at Christmas. It's French and much more complicated than the recipe suggests. I was relieved to see it turned out looking mostly like the illustration and tasted pretty damned good as well. Follow the suggestion and add pear segments pre-fried in butter. Kudos to me in the kitchen.  

Best Car
My old Audi A4 which clocked up 250,000 miles (402,000 Km) this year and shows no sign of failing me. I will replace you in the Spring....but I say that every year.  

Best Pop Video
Last Friday Night by Katy Perry. It's actually probably the only pop video I've watched this year. I really like the energy, vibrancy, colour and humour in this video. You can't help but smile all the way through it. Katy Perry is hot as well - with and without glasses. 




Best Consumer Product
The Canon EOS 60D digital SLR - mainly because I've just bought one. Expect blogposts in 2012 to have significantly more picture content.

Best Internet Retailer
I won't tell you their name but they sent me two Canon EOS 60D cameras and have billed me for only one. I 'phoned them up and told them of their mistake but they have so far failed to collect the second one. Where do I stand on this? Does it become mine after a certain amount of time?

Best Weather
The UK being buried in snow for a significant part of December 2010 and January 2011. Who can be so miserable as to not like snow? Where is your inner child? 

Best Holiday
A week in Scotland. More correctly, it was my only real holiday this year. Must improve on this in 2012. 

Best Friends
It might still possibly be the people I went to school with even though we are now scattered acrosss the globe. We met up over Christmas and regressed to being teenagers again (albeit teenagers who could spend freely and rather too over-indulgently at the bar). No oneupmanship. No envy. No baggage.  We were just pleased to see each other healthy and happy. 

Best Pub
The Grange Arms, Hornby, North Yorkshire. Where I invariably meet my best friends when our paths occasionally collide. Good beer is important, good company is essential. 

Best You Tube Video
This guy. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ho ho ho ho ho. La la la la la. Love the wig, the waves, the gestures...makes me want to live in seventies Soviet Russia.



Best Comeuppance
The ongoing evisceration of the UK tabloid press and their vulgar, voyeuristic, prurient, intrusive, judgemental, insensitive, manipulative, degrading and thankfully (finally proven), illegal reporting methods.


That's fourteen tops by my count - more than enough. Must go out and make something of the day. It's the last one we'll get in 2011 - if you hadn't noticed. Suggestions on other 'tops' are welcome if you'd like me to add to the list. Or how about some of your own?

I wish you and all your loved ones a happy, abundant and trouble-free 2012.

The Bud is Back Meme

Thanks for the following meme go to Terra Shield at Raconteur-esque Scribblings who in turn found it at Sunday Stealings. I rather rashly said I would complete it myself even though I suspect I have precious little to tell. Who knows? Here goes...

1. Why did you sign up for writing your blog?

Blogging was in the news and I'd been following a few blogs. I was mildly envious at how well other people wrote and wondered if I could write anything worthwhile myself. I'm still wondering.

2. Why did you choose your blog's name? What does it mean?

It's a track from a Bonzo Dog Band compilation album which I was enjoying on the evening I signed up to Blogger. I have no particular liking (or disliking) for the track. I was just looking for an anonymous name. I have no aspirations to royalty...or scurf.

I've just looked for a defintion of scurf and I've found out one of its meanings is dandruff - blooarrgghh. I never knew this definition until today. Up until now the only defintion for scurf I knew was the tiny slivers and scraps of metal you get when using drills and similar metalworking tools.

3. Do you ever had another blog?

"Do you ever had.." No, this is as good as it gets.

4. What do you do online when you're not on your blog?

Surf aimlessly. Read other people's blogs. Read news. Nothing interactive.

5. How about when you're not on the computer?

Work in IT for a gigantic US software company (no, not that one). I sit at a computer all day so I guess, strictly speaking, this answer does not really apply.

Read paper books. I'm not an e-reader but I'm not averse to the idea either - see later comment about being a late adopter. I primarily read non-fiction.

Socialise - the usual stuff - drinking, eating with friends etc. Definitely not a clubber.

6. What do you wish people who read your blog knew about you?

Truly, the thought has never crossed my mind. As an individual, I hope they think I'm balanced, considered, mildly inquisitive and hopefully they think I have a sense of humour. I am mostly at ease with my online persona and I don't seek to create an online image other than what people might infer from what I write.

I think more about the people who read my blog because I really rather like the tiny group of people who are kind enough to read and comment.

7. What is your favorite community in the blogosphere?

The thought of being part of an online 'community' doesn't really appeal. The only online community I am part of is the rather loose group of bloggers I interact with.

8. What is your philosophy on your blog layout?

It's a bog-standard Blogger template. Very few adornments or personalisation. If somebody said it was difficult to read (font too small etc.) then I'd do something about it.

9. Tell me about your picture you use to represent you on your blog.

An evening on a beach in Peru from a memorable overlanding holiday I took.

10. Pick 3 random blogs from your blogroll and tell us about them.

I don’t really use or review my blogroll that often (must tidy it up). I follow quite a few blogs through Google Reader but I only comment regularly on a few of them. You know who you are I hope.

11. What features do you think your blog should have that it doesn't currently?

Frequency and more interesting content.

12. What do you consider the 10 most "telling" interests that we would infer from your blog persona?

I spend too much time on YouTube. I don’t by the way.

I watch too much TV. I probably do by the way.

I like films.

My work often bores me. If it didn’t I’d probably talk about it more.

I would like to travel more.

I like to cook.

I have a motorcycle. A Honda ST1300 Pan European.

I lack direction.

Procratination (yup, me as well Terra). Not exactly an "interest" though.

13. Do you have any unique interests that you have never shared before? What are they?

I play golf very badly. I enjoy the game but I am somewhat uncomfortable with way it sometimes presents itself to the wider world. It has an air of aloofness and elitism (in the UK) with which I do not wish to be associated.  

14. The best thing about blogging is all of the friends that you make, Beside from those folks, do you think your blog has fans?

My blog has a few followers who are kind enough to comment on my rather erratic posts. I am very fond of them.

15. What's your current obsession? What about it captures your imagination?

This evening my new camera arrived. A Canon EOS 60D - I’ve finally gone digital. That will keep me occupied for a while. I work in technology but I’m never an early adopter. I’m still on my first mobile ‘phone. I’m not a technophobe but I’m not in thrall to technology either. I appreciate mechanical things more than digital / electronics things.

16. What are you glad you did but haven't really had a chance to post about?

I have no idea.

17. How many people that first became a blog friend, have you met face to face?

I have never met anyone through blogging.

18. What don't you talk about here, either because it's too personal or because you don't have the energy?

Being eternally single.

My poor social skills.

19. What's a question that you'd love to answer?

I’m very uncomfortable talking about myself. The anonymity of a blog helps but it doesn’t make it easy. I’ve tried writing ‘personal’ blogposts but I very rarely complete them as the honesty embarrasses me.But feel free to ask and I'll really try.

20. Have you ever lost a blogging friendship and regretted it?

No.

21. Have you ever lost a blogging friendship and thought, “Was that overdue!”

No.