Monday, April 19, 2010

Volcanic Ash Cloud - Breaking News

The crisis deepens. The novelty of the Icelandic volcanic ash cloud is starting to wear thin with the chattering classes. UK reserves of Rwandan mangetout are running dangerously low. Cut flower supplies have been failing to get through. Kiwifruit have achieved a mythical status that was once only afforded to bananas during the second World War. There is talk of panic-buying but when people realise they can only panic-buy homegrown potatoes which they have absolutely no idea what to do with the frisson rather soon wears off.

The government has invoked the Dunkirk spirit and dispatched the Royal Navy to the continent in order to collect stranded holidaymakers who although happy to holiday in a country, as soon as they discover they can't get home start comparing the place to Beirut in the 1980s.

Whitney Houston, currently midway through an apparently career-destroying world tour was reduced to travelling on a ferry to get to Ireland in order to unravel her reputation even further. Oh the bravery.

5 comments:

nursemyra said...

Poor Whitney, bless her little cotton socks for forging on.

I have a recipe book for 101 things to do with potatoes. If I put it on ebay now I might be able to afford a holiday in one of those ash covered countries

sabrina said...

LOL!!!!!!

Poor Whitney indeed

Terra Shield said...

I LOL'd. Kind of wish real news was as interesting as this.

This is an exaggeration, right?

King of Scurf said...

nursemyra: I've got a few of those 101 style recipe books - is yours the BBC GoodFood series? If your currency hasn't collapsed like ours you could probably get some of the way here on the proceeds.

Saby: She tried I'm told.

Terra Shield: Thank you for stopping by. The gist of it is true - the facts I may have elaborated upon slightly.

nursemyra said...

Only some of the way? How far would I get? I like Singapore